Sozopol, Bulgaria –
Archaeologists for the National Historical Museum have found an ancient temple
curiously dedicated to a dramatically well-hung penis god.
You laugh, but people did
indeed worship this penis god. In fact, you probably know him by his given
name, Priapus. He was a god in the Greek pantheon, and pretty much the patron
saint of penises.
MSN reports that the ancient temple to Priapus
was unearthed in the southern town of Sozopol on the Black Sea and that the
archaeologists knew they were onto the penis god when they found a clay phallus
with “To Priapus” inscribed on it during the dig.
This type of thing was given to Priapus by men who had
problems with fertility or erectile dysfunction, reports Sofia Globe. So,
instead of popping some Viagra for a casual Saturday night with the wife, you’d
get dressed and head to the penis god temple to offer a clay dildo unto Priapus
on the hope that he’ll favor you and help you get closer.
It gets better. There’s a
local legend about Priapus that tells of the penis god running into a donkey
and getting into a dispute about who was better-endowed. The donkey bet its
life in the bargain and ended up losing it (and becoming a sacrifice) because
Priapus is the god of penis, and, if he can’t beat everyone at that, he’s not a
very good god.
The ancient penis god temple
is actually a pretty significant find too. It suggests to archaeologists that a
cult of Priapus did indeed exist, but the size of which, believe it or not, has
been under dispute.
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